From Xishi

When I was leaving my job, some people said I could pursue what I wanted without leaving. There was a comment on Xiaohongshu that I can no longer find, but its gist was: “Life depends on your attitude.” Before I left, a manager at [company removed] also told me: “Whatever you do, even selling flatbread on the street, if you feel fulfilled within, you can enjoy yourself and live a fulfilling life.”

I thought about that view for a long time. I even wondered whether the real problem was my own attitude.

But eventually I understood the contradiction in it. I do not want to dismiss it as subjective idealism; it is simply that, much of the time, I need to be true to what I actually feel.

I could persuade myself that the unhealthy team atmosphere I experienced in [former business area removed] was just my subjective judgment, exaggerated in the telling;

I could also persuade myself that my venture was not doing well because of circumstances, that I was only missing a little ability and that the next attempt might be better—cheering myself on so I could keep charging ahead;

Perhaps, if I had not left then, I could have gained more. Perhaps, if I had kept my head down and continued building the business, the next attempt really could have succeeded.

But who knows?

We can only follow the path we choose in the present. So whichever path we choose, we need to listen to ourselves. At least for me, I cannot persuade myself in the way those arguments suggest.

All that talk of “inner fulfilment” and “misaligned values” is an excuse. If you dislike something, you dislike it; if you cannot accept it, you cannot accept it. Know where your principles and limits lie, instead of compromising blindly, over and over.

Of course, everyone has different principles. Even the same person’s limits can change as their circumstances change. We each have constraints, so when something unacceptable happens, we may not hear what we truly want—or may hear it but be unable to act on it.

I have said quite a lot. But I imagine you have already tried many ways of adjusting your attitude, so you probably know what you truly feel. I trust you can find a suitable way to address this: you could adjust your limits and accept it, try focusing only on the money, ask for a change of responsibilities, or leave altogether. Whatever you choose, please trust yourself. As long as it is a choice that follows your heart, it is the right one.