Work

This year my work shifted from Green Diamond (QQ Music’s membership product) to the live streaming team, and Flutter became the year’s defining keyword. I think about half my conversations with colleagues somehow circled back to that word. I’d instinctively turn around when I heard “Flutter” in an elevator — and eight times out of ten it was someone I knew. I even dreamed about Flutter architecture.

This year of full Flutter immersion included one BU-level presentation, one external talk for Tencent Cloud, and one session for a music school bootcamp. In the first half I wrote several technical articles, and in the second half I drafted a few internal proposals. There’s a piece on Flutter downgrade I plan to write soon.

Midyear I also took part in Hack Week, where I built a product from scratch — and felt again that old excitement of designing something and bringing it to life with teammates, the same feeling I’d had in college.

The first half of the year brought two five-star performance reviews and a QQ Music Star award; the second half brought another five-star, which pushed me to T8 ahead of schedule. Hoping to reach T9 this year. Looking back, I’d distill my professional learnings into five words: communication, thinking, ownership, retrospection, documentation.

  • Communication: The purpose is to sync progress and drive projects forward. Leading the Flutter work meant frequent coordination with the client team and cross-team syncing. I used to shy away from frequent check-ins, worrying about bothering people — but that instinct is counterproductive. Driving a project means proactively communicating, which means drafting proposals ahead of meetings, facilitating discussions, and keeping timelines moving.
  • Thinking: The goal is to broaden perspective and pursue excellence. A project doesn’t end when code ships. Before development, ask whether there’s a better approach. In repetitive work, look for the underlying abstraction. After launch, watch the data and look for optimization. Thinking is how horizons expand; its output is projects that keep getting better.
  • Ownership: Everyone on a team needs to internalize owner-level responsibility. Your job isn’t just your module. If a product requirement is flawed, a backend API is poorly designed, or an interaction pattern is confusing — speak up. You can’t say “not my problem” and leave it. You need to see the whole product chain from above and push toward an outcome that exceeds expectations.
  • Retrospection: Every evening before I leave, I review the day. I keep a running log of problems encountered, solutions tried, and mental state throughout — then write a brief summary. This creates a searchable history: when a similar problem comes up later, I can quickly reconstruct not just the solution but the reasoning that led there.

  • Documentation: Retrospection feeds into documentation — a form of self-output. Writing a summary or a proposal is output. The goal isn’t a perfect, comprehensive document; it’s periodic output — write what you have, don’t wait for the definitive version. Draw a boundary: what’s in scope gets written now; what’s beyond the boundary gets noted and deferred. Accept that it’s the best version you have at this moment, and it can be revised later.

The above is purely personal observation. If you have approaches that work better for you, feel free to share.

Life

  • The cats Puff chewed through the safety net on the balcony and jumped from the 12th floor. Miraculously survived. Internally checked out clean. Personality completely transformed — she’s now calm and docile where she used to be chaotic. Gloves, meanwhile, remains exactly himself: the exterior of a pig, the loyalty of a dog.

  • Cooking The pandemic forced me into the kitchen. I can now do some basic baking and my signature dish is beef curry — though it takes so long I’ve only made it a few times. Hoping to add new skills this year.

  • Loss Some family members have passed over the last two years. I want to spend more time with family, and to treasure the people who are still here.

Friends

Met many new colleagues this year — interesting people, all of them. Working with them has the same easy, chaotic energy as high school.

And on Thanksgiving I met my neighbor — a thoughtful, accomplished person. We’ve shared ideas, co-written a patent application, and helped each other with day-to-day things. A genuine gift.

Anime

  • Attack on Titan: Caught up on the manga after Season 4. I’m in awe of how the author manages a narrative this long — the framing, the reveal pacing, the thematic depth. Before the ending, I’d like to write a long piece pulling the story apart.
  • Let’s & Go!! (Bakusou Kyoudai Let’s & Go) — A childhood classic. Rewatched from beginning to end.

Film

  • The Disgraced Life of Matsuko: I’d read the novel hastily before and apparently misread its core. A friend pointed this out, so I watched the film and read the novel again. The film sacrifices detail and interiority for a bittersweet comedic tone — it turns a tragedy into something fairy-tale-like, which keeps it from being too heavy. I wrote a review in letter form afterward — more on this in the reading section.
  • Mary and Max: Watched it again this year — I’ve lost count of how many times. Every viewing lands the same way. If someone asked me for my single favorite film, this would probably be it.
  • The Call: Korean thriller. Slept with the lights on after.

TV

  • Go Ahead (Qi Po): Solid overall. Watching two episodes a night after work was a comfort. If you stop before the last few episodes (right where Chu Ying leaves), it’s easily a 4-star show. The final romance push ruined it though.
  • The Silence (Chen Mo de Zhen Xiang): Watched over Golden Week. Quietly devastating.
  • Hanzawa Naoki 2: I’d been waiting a long time. Tuesday evenings became sacred. Rewatched several episodes multiple times — genuinely energizing to watch when you need a boost.

Reading

  • Weak Communication (Ruo Chuan Bo): Finished on a bus in Qinghai province — no signal all day, sitting from 8am to 8pm with nothing but this dense book. I’ve rarely read that much in a day, but somehow I finished it.
  • Fifteen Lectures on Western Philosophy: A revisit of the Western philosophical tradition. Took me back to the memory of attending elementary school classes by day, university courses by night, while preparing for the grad school exam — and not feeling tired at all, because engaging with these ideas felt nourishing from the inside.
  • Fifteen Lectures on Aesthetic Reading: Discovered I have genuine affection for classical Chinese poetry.
  • Invisible Cities (Calvino): Dream-like, yet saturated with the textures of real life.
  • Existentialism Is a Humanism (Sartre): Tried several books on Heidegger and existentialism; this was the only one I finished.
  • The Dangerous Venus — Rated 2/5. Read while waiting in queues.
  • Hurricane Rondo — Rated 3/5. Same.
  • The Sleeping Mermaid House — Rated 4/5. Same.
  • The Disgraced Life of Matsuko: People say Matsuko’s tragedy is a matter of character determining fate; others analyze what she should have chosen differently. I used to let that analysis slide. But Matsuko felt misunderstood — and she was, her whole life, including when the novel was written and when I first read it. Perhaps that’s what “disgraced” means: something that cannot be understood. On this re-read, I tried to experience her life rather than analyze it. It really is a story full of suffering and hope. And what Matsuko teaches is this: as long as you lived genuinely, that’s enough. Hers was a life of pursuit and regret, and in some ways a failed life, but it was a life that was genuinely lived.

Games

  • Sky: Children of the Light: Favorite game of the year. Spent an entire Golden Week writing a 20,000-word analysis of its design philosophy. (《Sky》之”禅”)

PS. I made a friend in Sky — someone I know only as Jellyfish. Whenever I logged in and they were online, we’d chat. Their constellation hasn’t lit up in months now.

  • Animal Crossing: New Horizons: Carried me through March–June, a difficult stretch. Every night before bed I’d visit the island and say goodnight to the neighbors. Quietly soothing.
  • Gris: Played on the bus across Qinghai. Gentle and affecting — the hug mechanic is genuinely warm.
  • The Last of Us Part II: Kept putting it down before getting started. Played maybe an hour and a half total. Will try again when time allows.

  • God of War (2018): Slightly further along than last year’s save.
  • Fire Emblem: Three Houses: Played one route over Lunar New Year.
  • AI: The Somnium Files: So close to finishing, then life got busy. Picking it back up over New Year.

Travel

Finally made it to Qinghai province. Almost the entire trip was spent on buses — one day had zero cell signal. Forced to play Switch; forced to read. I’d most recommend Dunhuang if you go — I still miss the lamb ribs. And Dunhuang Research Academy is on my long list of dream retirement jobs.

Goals for 2021

  1. One book per month
  2. At least one published piece per month (tech articles, book/film reviews count)
  3. Learn and cook one new dish per month
  4. One film per week (equivalent runtime in TV episodes counts)
  5. Exercise at least 3 days out of every 7

Finally, a song that’s been with me a lot lately (and where this post’s title comes from):

Here’s to living the next year with hope, and with care.