For a while, replace “What should I love?” with “What am I feeling?”
01 Reading notes
Notice the feeling first. A direction can come later.
Shiqing originally meant to ask about study and work. As he wrote, he realized that he did not care about the choices themselves. He had tried instruments, drawing, travel and games, yet achievements brought none of the happiness he expected. His letter stopped me at an earlier question: before deciding where to put his time, could he still distinguish what he was experiencing?
Read this simply as a shortage of interests, and the advice easily becomes another list of activities. But the letter already contains a list of attempts. Adding more may miss the real question: why, after doing so many things, do I still feel no connection with them? That deserves a careful hearing before another instruction to act.
In my reply, I suggested an emotional diary: look back at the day's changes before bed and record moments of happiness. At its smallest, this means a few keywords, not an article. Revisiting the advice, I would also leave room for “I felt nothing in particular today.” Honestly recording an absence is more valuable than inventing happiness to submit a positive diary.
Begin with a specific moment: when did I look again, or want to stay a little longer? There is no need yet to ask whether it could become a career, or demand that tomorrow's interest be the same. It is a small clue that helps distinguish what actually happened today from the broad conclusion that everything is identical.
A diary is for yourself. It needs no elaborate language or structure; a few keywords can be enough.Open this letter
02 Reading notes
What remains may not be what I want.
Shiqing often chose by elimination: remove the most disagreeable option and accept what remains. That can help someone leave an obviously unsuitable situation, but it cannot automatically answer another question: what, in the life left over, do I want to move toward? Reduced dislike and growing interest are different changes to observe.
I would first acknowledge the constraints. Study, work and income cannot all follow the day's mood, and a complete change of life may not be possible. Yet a necessary decision need not define an entire life. Within an existing arrangement, there may be a small piece of time that is yours to direct, and an opportunity to see how you want to use it.
Baifan's letter describes a different situation. He had known enthusiasm, but the work itself, the feedback from learning and the lack of companions with shared interests had gradually worn it down. I suggested trying things he liked outside company projects. Recovering interest sometimes calls for a different setting in which to practice, rather than an immediate verdict that this path is wrong for you.
At the next decision, I would make two columns: which conditions must I currently accept, and which details can I still arrange myself? Make one small change in the second column and observe the response. This acknowledges the limits while giving preferences a chance to appear in a choice, not only in a rejection.
03 Reading notes
Spend time with a pursuit. Notice how it changes.
In my reply, I described my good fortune: I discovered a direction fairly early and then kept working at it, with some results. That experience cannot be reversed into a timetable that everyone must follow. Finding an entrance by chance and later choosing to continue were both parts of the story.
Something may first attract me because it is new, because someone does it beautifully, or because it solves a problem in front of me. Repetition, difficulty and disappointing results arrive after closer contact. What I would rather observe is whether, once novelty fades, some part still makes me curious enough to understand it a little better.
This is why recording and trying belong together. Writing only “like” or “dislike” quickly becomes another judgment of myself. Recording the particular part reveals differences. Perhaps I enjoy devising ideas but dislike one tool. Perhaps the pressure of being rushed is what I dislike, while the activity still appeals. The next attempt then has something specific to adjust.
Spending time does not mean signing a contract to persist forever. An attempt can give me reasons to continue or reasons to stop. I do not want to call every ending a short attention span. What matters is whether I understand the activity and myself better than before, rather than leaving again solely because excitement did not arrive immediately.
I do not believe effort can change everything.Open this letter
04 Reading notes
Treat it as an experiment. Do not grade your feelings.
At the end of the reply, I asked Shiqing to try recording things for a month and see what happened. That offered a period in which to begin, not a deadline by which feelings must change. The correspondence contains no later result, so I cannot add an ending in which he discovers his passion. The sincerity of advice and its suitability for an individual are separate questions.
The exercise here is equally limited: use short records to pay more attention to daily life, then choose one small action you would like to repeat. Read another page, sketch an idea, or return to a place where you wanted to linger. The scale should serve observation, rather than prove that you have finally become a positive person.
When looking back, I would ask which moments recur, which arrangements make them easier to notice, and which expectations come from other people's judgments. Answers can come slowly. Finding nothing in a month means only that this attempt has not yet produced a clear clue. It does not mean that your life holds nothing to anticipate.
I hope the idea of passion can ultimately lighten life a little. It may begin with something small that has no name, without immediately carrying the full weight of identity, income and achievement. Allow yourself to notice, then decide whether to move closer. Learn more about the feeling on the next approach.